Friday, January 31, 2014

12 tell tale signs of momminess.

12. You argue with Dora, Mickey Mouse, or Jake. You have been there sitting around when kid is playing and that is on tv, they ask a question. You respond. You realize you are responding to a toddler's tv show. ..........hmmm. 
11. You "soccer mom" whom ever is in the passenger seat. Anyone who has had children has done this at one point or another. It is as if by instinct you do not think the seatbelt is enough, so your arm will do just fine. My sister soccer mommed my hubby on the way to Universal Studios in Orlando when she was forced to slam the breaks. His response " did.....did you just soccer mom me?" 
Sister: "no" 
"You did!"
"Omg, I did! Well it is because my purse is always there and I have to save my purse..."
Me: "yeeeaaaaahhh right, you soccer mommed him. Awwww. Hahahahaha" 
The car erupted with laughter at her momism. 
To soccer mom: place arm over passenger as if mom arm is another seat belt, as you prepare for some imminent danger. 

10. There is a dinosaur and diaper in your handbag.
 Yes, that was me and has been me since my little man's birth. You know you have hit mom status when you go for gum and pull out a Pamper.

9. Someone says mama and you turn.  Yup, isn't it awesome when you go somewhere and you hear "mama" from a tiny person somewhere and you turn like "what?" Even if your baby is right in front of you.

8. You haven't showered in 2 days. Yup when you have little ones or even bigger ones you sometimes forget someone very important. you. When was the last time you could shower with out someone knocking,barging in, or crying in the baby monitor for you. Even at bedtime. 

7. It takes you 10 years to pick out baby food. What? Yes, if you have a picky eater you can take a long time picking out baby food. I mean what is more compelling than the debate with your 8 month old of peaches vs pears. 

6. Your drinking cold coffee. You wake up make a baba and a cup o' joe, then never drink it because you get side tracked with other stuff.

5. You wake up to the smallest sounds in the baby monitor.  Baby sighs and omg super mom is flying and flailing into that nursery! 

4. You step on a Barbie shoe,Lego, or squeaky baby toy.  Do I really need to elaborate this one? Think pain. 

3. You have baby food on your clothes. Not by choice. This is the beginning of feeding the floor. Or perhaps you have a toddler who though it was funny. Yes dear, spaghetti belongs in mommy's pocket.

2. You haven't slept in ages. Have these bags always been there? Sleep was something you took for granted before baby. And now you miss it. 

1. All your kid has to do is smile at you with love and you melt. All it takes is that "I love you mama" smile and you are done for. It melts you at any age, and you love every minute of it. 

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