I am trying to figure out my worry. My husband says the house looks fine but I don't feel that way. In every home I have lived I have never felt my home has been good enough and have major insecurities over this. I blame someone in my life for part of this, I had an aha moment yesterday. Someone spent the holidays here and took it upon themself without permission to clean my home as if it were dreadfully nasty.this person whenever they were over does this,comments on my taste in art,paint,and tells me how to care for MY stuff. Which left me feeling like poo, like I was not good enough and therefore my home isn't either.Every home has been under furnished and cluttered. Clutter that I try to throw away but it always comes back.I try to organize but can not as there is no space. I am going to watch Hoarders, maybe that will help me feel better and help me throw stuff away. And the other issue is money, if we had it we could get all the carpets replaced, the kitchen redone, the walls all painted, the bathrooms the way I wanted. I want my home to be my dream home, not my dungeon. Which it feels that way because no matter what I do, the inside needs fixing and no matter how much I scrub it, it can not hide broken.
I wish I could wave a wand and it would be fixed, but that is just silly.