Saturday, May 18, 2013

Don't tread on me...

Awhile back I posted about how people can say just the most hurtful things. Hurtful things that can ultimately stick with you,taunt you, haunt, and piss you off. I wrote about this very thing on my fashion blog gofashiondeals. I was made to feel bad that I can not be home with my baby.  I still can not get over this and I still cry that I can not be home taking care of my boy. I know there are plenty of moms in the same boat. It made me realize the United States has a flawed maternity leave system. Severely flawed.

The U.S. only gives you 6 weeks of maternity leave for vaginal delivery and 8 weeks for cesarean. That's it. Husbands or significant others can't get paternity leave, which is available in other countries. In fact, good  ole U.S.A is one of the few countries that does NOT have some sort of mandated maternity or parental leave. Shocking...especially when other countries do.
In fact it seems like FMLA is more of a suggestion up to 12 months. But guess what, each state has it's own guidelines and regulations. There is short term disability insurance but, many times people are unaware of it or the cost just isn't there. I had to save money out of every paycheck to help out when I was out. Because I didn't have maternity leave pay, fml, or qualified for short term disability. Smaller businesses may not be able to offer such "luxuries" either.

In Canada a mother can get 17 to 52 weeks of maternity leave, which is mandated by the government. This is also based on how long she has worked for the company and how many hours she had worked.  The employers have to give the mother her job back or equivalent, at the same pay. The Canadian insurance plan helps expectant mothers and new moms  by allowing 15 weeks and both parents can either share the 32 weeks or be alone ,once the child is born or adopted. If eligible it will be for approximately 55% of their pay on average with a cap of $485, lower income families can get up to 80%.

The Uk, women are entitled to 52 weeks. 39 weeks paid and that is being pushed to 52 weeks. The first 6 weeks paid at 90% of full pay and the remainder of the time its at a fixed rate. Fathers can get 6 weeks of leave, which is wonderful, because the daddies seem to be overlooked. I think they should paternity time off. The U.S. needs to think about that.

The U.S seriously needs to rethink what maternity and lack of paternity laws we have here.
We need to give more options for parents new to it or not. I think 6 weeks is not enough, your body hasn't healed all the way and the baby needs his or her mama. Let's face it FMLA is a joke and short term disability is not available for everyone.  We need something for domestic partners or spouses so they can bond with the child and help take care of mom.You need time and having dad home or you partner home helps! Sometimes you just want your spouse and not in laws or others.
So, come on U.S. face it we want more time  with baby and deserve it !


  1. I am so sorry that you are not able to be home with your son. And for someone to blame you and make you feel bad is just awful. Today's economy basically requires most households to have two incomes just to make ends meet. When I had my daughter, my husband worked a full-time job and I was part owner in my family restaurant. And because I owned my own business I only was able to take 2 weeks off when my daughter was born. Then it was back to work but I took my new daughter with me to work and my mom helped watch after her. But let me tell you, it was tough trying to work and have a newborn baby with me.

    1. Thanks Julie,
      It was so hard then and I had to admit too, that I had Post Partum Depression. Flash Forward to now and now I am a SAHM. I lost my job. While I thought at first it was awful, sometimes these things work out for the best and I am so very happy. I still struggle with PPD but I get to be with my little man.