A cup of coffee and a thought, Dealing with PPD.

I am still struggling with Post partum depression, 8 months later you would think it would be better. Well, I have mostly good days. But here lately it has been going back to how I was back in June when I finally admitted I needed help. Then my Neurologist took my off my meds for it. That was back in August. But, I am still having problems with it. 

This morning it hit me in the face, I cried so hard. Yesterday, I cried and today I cried more. I am thinking a combination of  dryer being dead, Christmas coming up, Thanksgiving stress, and my son's impetigo is trying to come back because his excema is bad. No one will let me call the Doctor for a rx. It is past home remedies. All of this going on and I broke down. 

As I sat there on my bed after looking at Facebook, something I promised I wouldn't look at. I saw my family at Seaworld and we weren't there. We couldn't, so I missed my nieces bday. Another nail in the coffin.I sat there on my bed sobbing and rocking my baby. Then I noticed, somehow the booger turned in my arms and was facing me. He nuzzeled his head on my shoulder and he squeezed me. I also got pats on my back and rubbies. Just like I do to him when he cries. My sweet little man was comforting his mama. He even started to baby sing. This just made my heart melt and I stopped crying. I held him close and he looked at me.

My boy put his hand on my face as to let me know it was OK, and then there was that smile. That smile can cure any signs of the blues.Babies are truly little miracles and nothing but pure love. 

My world

Sleepless in Florida

It was a dark and stormy night last night. Perfect for sleeping right? Well in most cases yes, in mine ha um....no. It wasn't because of little man, although he did wake up at 3am. I forgot his cereal before bed. Oops. Mom of the year here. I haven't been able to sleep because of worry and stress. Money and lack of it is my main issue. I worry about everything, that is not abnormal for me. And my post partum depression isn't making it better, infact kind of down blog posts I feel are a result of it. But, they say you got to talk about your problems to feel better,right?  I have my eBay store, which I am going to name after my fashion blog Gofashiondeals. It is helping me a lot, the only thing that is rough about this is my printer broke and we are a one car family. I rely on my husband to drop off at the post office. Not to mention eBay doesn't make funds available until you get everything shipped, have 25 sales, and OR $250 in sales. Almost there! And that makes me feel really good!

One day I hope we can get two cars, one day I hope we can go on vacation, one day I hope we can finally get rid of this ugly hand-me-down couch. It's over 20years old. It sucks seeing everyone else have and achieve so much and we keep getting kicked down. I try to be positive, but I am not sure how long it will last. I already feel my positive outlook on this fading.Like this is my chance of starting my own business or getting my blogs better.And slowly that can do attitude is changing.I thought there is light at the end of the tunnel, now all I can think of is how far away the light at the end is.

Baby weight and body issues.

I went to Target and saw the newest designer for Target, I thought to myself do I dare try it on? Nope, I made a direct line right to the baby stuff. I figured buying my boy something was better than me in a dressing room fighting with a dress. Hurray for post-partum and the struggle with body image. When you are pregnant friends and family tell you things wont be the same and your body changes. Yes we know, what I guess what I didn't know was by how much.  Arms bigger than they were,  chest is bigger, hips, and butt. The pants you used to wear are only able to go up halfway.  The dress you used to wear, you know the one, is now like packing a sausage. You figured it would be back into you pre-pregnancy clothes after baby. Well guess again! There are some ladies who are fotunate enough to get back right away into those regular clothes. Me? I am not one of them! Nope. I lost 25pounds after little guy and have been plateaued since. My clothes hang in the closet mocking me. I am still in my maternity items and while they are cute, I want to be able to wear all my clothes. I can fit into some tops but not all. And I am almost considering buying some new clothes for my new curvier self. What to do? How many mamas have just said the hell to it and gone and purchased some new things. Either as an self esteem boost or just as a inbetween size to get you through. I am curious to see what others are doing, going to do, or did.

Also, with work, baby, hubby, and housework, how do you get your exercise groove back.?

hello all!

This is a new start for me, new baby, new house, new lease on life....etc etc.I normally am blogging away at my www.gofashiondeals.com, but when I started to write about baby and pregnancy stuff it had no place. So, I made this blog, to share my experiences, my life lessons lol, baby and kid stuff, and all other mommy related stuff. It doesn't matter if you are a FTM*, a SAHM*, BTDT MOM*, dad, or goldfish, pull up a chair,grab some coffee and join in the fun!!

*ftm-first time mom sahm-stay at home mom btdt-been there done that mom*