Me time? Take time for me?

While my hubby this morning was getting ready for work he mentioned something that has gotten my hamster wheel turning. "Take time for you." Followed by "you are the best mommy" take time for me? When is the last time I really took time for me? I mean really took me time. Sure 3 weeks ago I got my nails done, but  I was sitting there waiting for my phone to go off about the baby. Constant mom worry.  I enjoyed it but, was that the "me" time necessary for me to recharge? Probably not. I love being with my son, more than everything. But even god rested and me? Well let's just say there isn't any. Which is probably why and how I got sick. I blame the vacuum for this one. I cleaned it out Friday. And all this dust hit me. Then Sat, I used it to vacuum the floor and I didn't shut the container all the way. Anyways, he told me I need me time. I need to rest. Which is hard. I can not sit still, there is so much to do. Things to clean and a baby to pester. There is no me time. When I exercise I do it even when little man is up. I guess I need to figure something out. Perhaps a shopping trip alone at the mall is needed. Get my nails done and relax at the mall alone. Or call a friend and have her run with me. Sometimes, I hate being alone. Give daddy and boy a day to bond. What do you think? 

MY stance on CIO (crying it out)

Last night when I was getting little man aka baby bear ready for bed, things were going great. I was getting him relaxed for bed. You know the routine; brush his two teethies, change him into night night gear, and give him his bottle. We usually watch a children's movie, during Halloween time it was Charlie Brown Halloween. Last night we watched the original movie "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory" with Gene Wilder.It was great to watch and soon he was sleeping soundly. Normally transitioning him into his bed is not a problem. But, here lately it has been a nightmare. This is partly due to his separation anxiety and his teething. Put all of that with his getting a shot and you get fun times.

He was sleeping until he hit the mattress in his crib then it was scream city. It became a Roman collusium battle, he was the lion and I was the gladiator. I was loosing. He wanted me to stand with him, I didn't want to stand with him. I would try to get him to calm down in my arms and he would force himself into a pretzel. I would tell him, "OK,I am putting you down. You are being mean to mommy and pulling my hair and I do not want to drop my little man." I would gently place his screaming and wiggly body into his crib. This would make it worse. I tried to let him self soothe and left the room.

I went into my bedroom and heard the screaming. It was loud and horrible and I felt like a horrible mom. I felt like I was being short with him but I wasn't. I just didn't know what to do. I was lost. He was throwing a temper tantrum that would put toddlers to shame. Or so I thought. I thought maybe he wants the rest of his bottle after all, this was something he kept refusing in his room during the epic battle. I couldn't do it, I couldn't just let him cry it out. I felt wrong about it. And after an hour of this battle going on, I had to do something.
I went into the baby's nursery where he was screaming and not knowing what to do. I picked my baby up and held him close. He was trying to breath at this point and he still has issues with breathing now and then since his birth. This is something the pediatrician said will continue to get better, and it has.I took him back into our bedroom, turned Willy Wonka back on and finally he took his bottle. The tears were still running down baby bear's face. But a smile broke out and a relaxed breath after. He was happy and falling back asleep, only this time it was a sleep that lasted all night. He was able to be put in his crib, and he slept all night.
I am not sure if I am cut out for CIO, right now I do not feel it is good. For either of us, right now it isn't for me. Some women would say I am enabling the behavior, but I know plenty of  mamas that do not CIO and their children are happy and healthy. I do not think it is healthy to let a baby scream like that. At least for me and for him. It breaks my heart and it hurts him. Crying a bit before sleep is one thing but this, is another. I do not discredit those who do CIO, if you do and it works that is awesome.
I do not feel I am CIO mom, I can not do it. Or at least can not for right now.

What are your thoughts on CIO(crying it out)?How long do you let them cry or scream? Do you only do CIO for naps and not bedtime?  I can understand why so many moms do it, and I can totally understand those who don't.

My morning walk and an epiphany

Such a peaceful walk.

While I was on my morning walk this morning, I was taking in the beauty of my ruralesque neighborhood, I came to the realization; Black ops Ghosts came out, and I can not get it. It isn't for me, it is for my hubby.
I know that Christmas is around the corner, but I also know how much he wanted it. There are many sacrifices that we have had to make since I went from being a WAHM to a SAHM. I do not think I should even call it a WAHM job, what I had. It was more like working at home but no kid home with me. That, ladies and gents made my post partum so much worse. How tortuous going on break and seeing his room. Seeing his room empty and no baby bear in there. I was lonely, miserable, and soooo bored. The job was too stressful and my health went poop.
So, the company I worked for decided to get rid of accepting doctors notes. And thusly my behind got fired. I found out 3 weeks after being let go that they started to accept doctors notes again. SERIOUSLY?! Oh well, I am enjoying being a SAHM.
But, back to what I was originally talking about. MY epiphany. I realized that I needed to make a change, I had already opened my very own eBay store. My pride and new found joy, this store offers gently used baby stuff,handbags,women's clothing, odds and ends, holiday stuff, and tech. It is a lot of work, but I know it will pay off. Just like my blogs. I have to be smart about it and understand there is competition.
But, I needed something more and the question was to myself; "Do I go and get a night job?"
Most people in my life would yell no! I do after all have a now 8 month old to take care of during the day. So, what else do I do?
I write in my blogs a lot and am trying to join in Blogher's NaPloMo's November thing. I want to get writing more often and better. I frequent WAHM and am trying to find something that would allow me to be home with little man and work. This is proving to be quite the challenge. I know what I need and we need the financial help. That is one of the reasons I opened my eBay store was to help us. It actually has helped us. But, I need more.
So, I found on WAHM a writting opportunity. Now, I have not had anything published. All I ask for is the chance to succeed. A chance to do something I do enjoy and I enjoy writing in my blogs. This one I tend to fall on more than the fashion blog. I think I see Gofashiondeals and know it could be more. The issue is trying to make it more. I got to get to work. So, I shall continue to look and see what the status is and I hope the editors will give me a chance.

Crying at nap time, let the fun begin.

I'm trying to get stuff done today, baby boy needs a nap, and I can not hold him while he is sleeping. We have a morning routine, we dance together. I get my exercise and he get to be bounced around. We have fun and he is getting too comfy and ends up sleeping on me. That is a habit I am trying to break. I have tried sleep training early on and he didn't do it very well. Now here I am with a screaming baby who is so tired and needs to learn to comfort himself. Pediatrician said he could cry a little. I go and check on him, let him know it's ok. But, he throws tantrums that put 2 year olds to shame. I am talking throwing himself and going in circles. He is an epic fitter. My sweet baby bear.
I know his reasons for being really bad today. Normally after me going in his room once or twice and giving kissies and hugs, he settles down and zzzzz. He got his shots Wens. Since then I have had one clingy and not so happy little man. He got part one of the flu vaccine. Yes, I believe in vaccinating my kid. My little man is a bit under the weather and he was up and down last night. So, I expected a crabby baby today. How am I doing it? Well, lots of patience. He is my little man, my baby bear. I love this little kid with all my heart. That is how I do it. Sure there are times I wonder if there is a record for loudest fit by a 6 month old. Then I snap out of that, and go back to snuggling that little meanie monster.

I am quite curious how many mom's out there do the whole cry it out thing. I can't. I know he is sometimes testing me with his epic fits,no tears. But the rest he really does need something. So, mom's chime in and what do you think about crying it out, how long do you let them cry when it is nap time?