Sleepless in Florida

It was a dark and stormy night last night. Perfect for sleeping right? Well in most cases yes, in mine ha um....no. It wasn't because of little man, although he did wake up at 3am. I forgot his cereal before bed. Oops. Mom of the year here. I haven't been able to sleep because of worry and stress. Money and lack of it is my main issue. I worry about everything, that is not abnormal for me. And my post partum depression isn't making it better, infact kind of down blog posts I feel are a result of it. But, they say you got to talk about your problems to feel better,right?  I have my eBay store, which I am going to name after my fashion blog Gofashiondeals. It is helping me a lot, the only thing that is rough about this is my printer broke and we are a one car family. I rely on my husband to drop off at the post office. Not to mention eBay doesn't make funds available until you get everything shipped, have 25 sales, and OR $250 in sales. Almost there! And that makes me feel really good!

One day I hope we can get two cars, one day I hope we can go on vacation, one day I hope we can finally get rid of this ugly hand-me-down couch. It's over 20years old. It sucks seeing everyone else have and achieve so much and we keep getting kicked down. I try to be positive, but I am not sure how long it will last. I already feel my positive outlook on this fading.Like this is my chance of starting my own business or getting my blogs better.And slowly that can do attitude is changing.I thought there is light at the end of the tunnel, now all I can think of is how far away the light at the end is.

Honey I burnt the lasagna....again.

image via allrecipes

For a girl who can make a mean stuffed manicotti, why can't I make lasagna? I follow recipes to the T and still it comes out burnt and nasty. I can make baklava from scratch, but I can't do this? What is wrong with me? Are my husband and son doomed to only ever have lasagna at my parent's or inlaw's homes? I would love to be able to say "Hey, I made delicious lasagna!" in stead of the usual profanity that comes from my poor kitchen.

As far as things go, I follow recipes. Set my oven at the temps they say to. I set a timer. And yet out comes this perfect on top and weird rest of it; followed by a not so great mass on the bottom. What is the deal?! Is my kitchen sabotaging me? Is the universe sayiing NO lasagna for you!? I can not make this dinner dish to save the baby Jesus.
I feel so defeated, so let down. I get asked to make it and go to the store and cheat. I buy it premade. And it is no where nearly as good as homemade. Why does this one dish cause me such catastrophe?! Right now I don't even think Ina or Giada could save me in my lasagna woes.

Sahm, what to do next.

First of all HAPPY FRIDAY! TGIF!
I have been a SAHM(stay at home mom) for a couple of months now. At first not really by choice and now by choice. One thing I noticed about it now that the ahhh I get to stay home with my baby joy has worn off. I am still excited I get to be home with him every day, don't get me wrong. But that initial response of YAY, I get to be with him has changed into "Yay I get to be with little man everyday! But, Um money?" Yup I am in that doldrums, of financial crunch. We don't go out, not that we did anyways; that was like pulling teeth before when there were 2 checks coming in. We cut back, I coupon for groceries. OK, wait, I would coupon better if my printer worked. Many of the coupons I get in the news paper are not products I use. I wish I was a better couponer, like my sister. SHe can coupon her way into the store paying her money!

So, earning while being at home. My doctors did not want me working a normal job. The only reason they let me go back once was because of the fact I worked from home. But, with the amount of doctor appointments I had and no PTO(paid time off), oh and the fact they wouldn't approve any anyways; I had to go back on Medical leave. And then they let me go. I didn't qualify for FLMA nor unemployment. I have to think of something to do to earn something. Every little bit helps right? I was thinking of doing a Melaleuca business, but as I am discovering with that no one is interested in getting a membership or to make an appointment with me, and these are my friends. No one seems to understand, the people I know just don't want to be bothered. I got to keep strong and carry on. The products do work, I like them.

That is when I noticed my son's box of clothes that no longer fit. His Gymboree and The Children's Place clothes. They are just sitting there not doing anything. I also have tons of unopened Lemax Village Items. For Halloween and for Christmas, to eBay with them! I have opened my store. I am happy and excited! I don't feel like it is work and it doesn't stress me out. Already I feel a weight has been lifted. I have to be successful. I am trying hard to be.  So, we shall see and I will definitly blog about my eBay adventures!
Stay tuned!

Being a mom means.....

I find myself loosing track of things. Like if I emptied the trash or if I ate that morning.  I have little time. Who would have thought having a baby would have so much impact on time. Between him and trying to get my ebay store up and running, I am lucky to get a hot cup of  coffee. Tia and Tamara say it all "I'm lucky if I get a bath or take a shower. I'm lucky to have on clean underwear".

Yeah. You know you have no time when you're washing your hair in the bathroom sink and haven't shaved in days! I tried to read while my baby boy watched Peppa pig. Nope. He is trying to crawl and is rolling all over the living room. He is mobile. Oh my God he is mobile. His naps are sporadic and not long. Being a mom means chasing baby and juggling the world.

I spend my afternoon lost in a game of peek a boo and get da baby.  But that is ok, I wouldn't change it for the world.  There is so much love for this little man.
Even when he "fits".

I try to keep the house clean as I am ocd about it. I see how women just stop caring about themselves and focus on everyone else. They feel there is no time even to get dressed, let alone do hair and makeup.  I find my hair is up all the time. A. Because of mr grabbyhands and B. I just am too spastic to flat iron it.
I do put makeup on or try to at least. Obe day I had only one eye done. It's ok no one saw. I do get dressed right when I wake up so at least I got that done. But, I do totally get why so women just give up and why so many get defensive.  I would be defensive too.
So what am I going to do? I am going to try to make more time. Hence the word TRY.  Wish me luck!

The read- "The October Horse"

Good reading so far, that is if I get to read it.  When I sit down to read, I find myself unable to sit still. I start thinking about what I should be doing. Whether it is dishes, laundry, baby stuff, or paying attention to hubby. I just can't relax enough to read.  I call this "mommy brain" reading.

The book.

The book so far is beautifully written.  I feel like I am back in time. The way the author conveys Caesar I feel like these events or the way the events happened in the book could have taken place. It is a fun spin on Ancient history.  Although I haven't read a tremendous amount of "The October Horse" I am sure it will keep being a page turner.

Thank you Target for the humiliation!

Why is it when I want to return something or use coupons they block me or make it unbearable to do so. Target, who I used to love and have admiration for has forsaken me! It begins with coupons and ends with formula.

Let's start with me shopping, as I try to use coupons. There I was with my groceries,mom,son, and coupons. I had manufacters coupons and the store coupons. There policy is to accept both. They told me no, that they wouldn't accept both. Even with the coupon policy in front of them. Strike 1 for my town's Target!

Then flash forward to a Saturday or two ago. There I am needing to return formula.I had purchased it online by using the Target app. I couldn't use the formula anymore, my son was switched to specialty formula. I had the pack slip/reciept; it said that I could return using it via in store or back through the mail. Both required that slip for returns. I thought it was all good and I went to the store with the slip and remaining formula.

  I got to my local store and set down my items at customer service. I handed over my slip and I figured it was ok. Since I used paypal I figured I would get a gift card and that would have been fine. The boy needed diapers and wipes. The first associate was shocked when the system was giving her trouble returning the items. Not a big deal in my book, it happens. She called a manager, OK, fine still not unusual.

 That is until Lucifer the supervisor came. She takes the slip and starts to return my items. Nope, can not take them back. She takes my slip; which incidentally was the receipt as well. She says "We can not return these."
"WHAT?! I just got them 4 days ago!!"
She then said there are two items here and the items I had were different.
"Yeah, they are. One is ready to feed and the other is powder." By the way it said so on the slip,duh.
But, I was trying to be polite to the troll.
"Where is the Receipt??!!" the supervisor replies as she is shoving the slip in my face pointing to the items.
"In your hand, that is all I got."
"Do you have the card you used?" she rolls her eyes as I reply with a nope used paypal.
"Of course you did."
Alrighty, attitude much?!

So, she takes my license and continues to talk down to me. Pointing to the items I had and then to the slip questioning how I acquired them. She tells me she has to check the skus to make sure they even sell those products. I tell her I can walk you back to baby and show you! I felt degraded, I felt as if she was accusing me of stealing from the store. Like I just walked back to the baby aisle and took Similac Advance for sensitive tummies; just to come to customer service and return them for cash. Um, I HAVE A RECEIPT!
I felt like she was treating me like a thief and a lowlife. She stood at the register muttering about me. Um, what did I do wrong? I was well within Target's return policy. That was the only slip in the box. I got one box and that was all that was in there. Why make a scene with me? I was trying to be polite, I was being nice, even when I was a tad snarky it was in defense. "I got those from Target's app" I said quietly.
I was almost in tears when she got back to the register I was standing at. I was shaking. I was humiliated and people were staring.
She then walks back to me and with a horrible attitude says "OK, I guess we can take these back. But, you wont get cash.It will be a gift card,but not cash,OK."
"I never wanted cash, I am fine with a gift card. Thank you. A gift card was fine" I felt abused.
"Ok" she then handed my slip back, which she promptly showed me the items again! Pointing to them like a parent pointing to an F on a report card. She then handed my gift card and receipt for it telling me how much was on it.
I thanked her, even though I wanted to cry, I still thanked her. I left to go get little man diapers. I saw her again at a regular register. She stared at me then ignored me. What the heck happened to customer service?
Why did she get away with that? Why couldn't I ask for a higher up? I felt horrible and I hate going back to that Target. I get better customer service at the Walmart. What happened?! When did it become a hassle to be nice and help someone. Especially someone within return policy and with a receipt. I was not mean to her. I was polite, but she treated me like I stole the items. Yes, I robbed Target by purchasing formula with PayPal and then returning what my son couldn't use and it was NOT opened. Don't get me wrong I still love Target in general. I love the fashions there and the pharmacists. Plus their baby section is wonderful, I just wished their customer service was better.
What are your store horror stories?

Reading "The October Horse".

I am sitting here on my couch with my hubby after a long day of a teething little man with no sleep. I check my ebay account as I am selling Lemax,designer baby clothes he no longer fits in, and books. I decided I wanted to get lost in an ancient world of scandals,war,love, and ancient history.

I started to read my larger than life novel The October Horse by Colleen McCullough. Upon reading the first couple of sentences; I noticed it was as though I was reading aloud. But I wasn't, it was in my head. Caesar's words were being read in a voice of Rex Harrison( he played Caesar in Cleopatra). It made me wonder, how many others do the same thing. When you read, do you "hear" the words in your head. As though you were reading aloud. Do you change the character's voices into something other than your own voice? Or is it a 100% silent reading?

 I'm sure I am not the only one that has wondered about this. Scientists study this type of auditory learnning,thinking,and reading. Does reading like this alter the way we perceve the text. Is it an aquired trait or one you have after infancy? Think back, do we even remember? Interesting to know and while I go back to my read, I am sure I will continue to think about it.

Thoughts?